ABOUT THE TALK: my life has the hand of God in it and that is not said in pride but I didn’t make the beer so bitter I couldn’t stand the taste, I didn’t cause depression to leave in minutes or a veteran with PTSD say fear left when you said Holy Spirit remove fear, I didn’t heal myself of health issues or make myself cry because God loves me or make other people cry telling about God’s Love, or cause my wife to be seen with angels. I didn’t cause someone to say I’ve been looking for God after I said how are things going. I don’t talk about repent or you go to hell, I talk about God’s love is everlasting, it cannot be shaken, you cannot be separated from God’s love for you. A man had a near death experience and was in heaven and saw his brother, saw beautiful flowers (I’ve seen them), and he heard God say I LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU WILL EVER, EVER KNOW. 

God told me TELL ABOUT MY LOVE. I wrote a book ” SEEK ME and you will find ME, Jer. 29:13, I did and I DID ” on Amazon $9.95 and ALL royalties go to charity.

If you know anyone who feels angry, depressed, grieving, addicted to alcohol- drugs- porn, despondent, have thoughts of suicide, feel sad, lonely, rejected, abandoned, forgotten you came to the right place. I was an alcoholic over 35 years.

I lived some of it for over 30 years, planned suicide including one for the next day and thought about it often. Many of us have a story of  being broken, hurt, suffering and God is aware of us and it took many years for me to understand GOD IS REAL not just a bumper sticker. I swore in anger several times a day, threw things, slammed things, hit things (walls-doors, broke windshield one time), judged most every one, rude to those I didn’t think I would like and other issues but you get the picture. I thought maybe I just had a negative personality and it took me 25 plus years to realize there was more to it. I wasn’t rude, sarcastic, negative all the time but it was enough to make me wonder what was going on and my actions were abnormal and excessive many times and I knew when I over reacted.

At the Veterans Stand Down: We had a table giving toiletries to veterans; CRYING, I went to have lunch and as I took a bite of food I looked at a young man in his late 30’s with a green wristband which indicates homeless I started to cry in love and compassion and knew I should talk to them (I had already seen 75 homeless vets and many in pretty bad health). The woman with him had dark lipstick, 3-4 facial piercings and looked like someone who worshiped satan. I gave him a little money and I told them about being an alcoholic and told about the love of God. She said she was going through recovery. I gave her God’s Testimony (He stopped my drinking in one night) I told her my experience dealing with the devil of hearing his voice, being in his presence and attacked, had to deal with it every day for 3 years, planned suicide, of getting 100’s of dreams that we all get to make us feel guilty or depressed and told her I seldom get them but when I do I say satan you’re an idiot, a fool a liar and foul disgusting worthless abomination and you are going to kneel before me because Jesus is right in back of me. I told her to ignore them and never talk about the dreams. I didn’t command satan out of her but by HIS love that came over me I know HE did. (I have felt His love come over me over 100 times).

I don’t want to convince you that you have the same problem I had but millions do so if you have some of my former “idiosyncrasies” in your personality read through what you can do. Do not stop seeing your Dr. or stop any medications.

The most prescribed pill is for depression. My medication is the God who takes away depression, despondency, grief, sadness, melancholy, hopelessness, worries of the world and has 500 times +/- a few. I don’t take any pills or supplements at age 76.

It may not seem like it but the whole purpose of this site is to tell how you can find God’s Love for you and it is bigger than what you are going through. It took me a long time to find it because I didn’t know God’s Love was something other than just idle words. I’m not a Bible thumper person and don’t believe all the verses. This will be mentioned a couple times but 300 verses say fear God but God said their fear of ME is a false teaching of men Isa. 29:13.

God wants you to know how much you are loved.  Several weeks after this site was put up I felt the most amazing love I have ever felt : I have been blessed with the most amazing gift of God which is how to feel how much He loves us. I have had several messages from God (probably missed 90%) but one was TELL ABOUT MY LOVE. I have cried 75 times writing something I guess Jesus likes and I go from mellow to crying in 3 seconds so it isn’t something I am contemplating and it happened writing this and I had to put the lap top down and blow my nose. In my opinion this is the most valuable thing in the Bible – knowing how much you are loved it is indescribable, unbelievable, inexplicable and miraculous and it will make you want to serve more because you want to not because you think you should. There is a scripture about it Eph. 3:19 the love of God surpasses knowledge.

One of the papers I give out is THE GREATEST DISCOVERY IN LIFE IS TO KNOW HOW MUCH GOD LOVES YOU ( with instructions on The Love of Christ page).

from my notes: I have been praying to know God’s love more and more each day. Today I felt love for most of 2 hours and almost had to leave the church and go sit down and cry because I am loved. His Love is supernatural and not of this earth. I have felt like a 4 year old child many times.

A day or two latter I found this: 1 Kings 3:7 “Now, O Lord my God, you have made me king instead of my father, David, but I am like a little child who doesn’t know his way around.

This site isn’t about learning the Bible; a pastor who does amazing things by God working through him said you can know the Bible backward and may not make it if you don’t have love. However, God is real, Jesus is real, The Holy Spirit is real and unfortunately so is the devil.

SUICIDE: Web MD says 42,000 die of suicide annually, 1 million try and 9 million think about it. There are videos of survivors saying they didn’t want to die. It says if you know anyone depressed that it is okay to ask if they have thought about it.

There is an interesting story about judging others in Signs of God about half way down in 2005, 2012, 2017. God said I have put my words in your mouth Jer.1:9 and He still does this and I have seen it many times. For those of us judging I don’t think we are supposed to per James 4:12 …..there is only one judge.

Who am I – someone saved by God before I knew God did such things, before I read the Bible, before I went to church, before I was baptized, before I believed, before I was “born again”  After 35 years of excess drinking I looked in the mirror and said God help me stop drinking (He did in one night) but I did not get baptized for 15 years at age 70 but kept getting signs.
I have had several injuries healed in the name of Jesus, felt love come to me from the Holy Spirit before I knew the Holy Spirit was with me or even on this earth ,felt the Love of Christ that surpasses knowledge dozens of times and can tell you how to find it in Eph 1-2 and 3, felt my love for Jesus before I knew how, had some people cry when I pray about God’s love for them and one called the next day to say he saw Jesus when I prayed and said the spirit of fear left when you said Holy Spirit remove this spirit of fear. (I didn’t do any of it because I don’t know how). I have ask The Holy Spirit to remove  the spirit of depression, grief, melancholy and they are gone sometimes in minutes. I have told many people the Holy Spirit can do this.

 Oh, almost forgot heard the voice of the devil before I knew he was real, I have been held down 20 times sleeping, felt the most ominous thing imaginable more than once and had to deal with the devil daily for over a year in addition to 35 or more years while I was an alcoholic. I said to someone one time I don’t know where these mean thoughts come from, now I know and I know what he does and I know who stops him. I have jumped out of bed many times to rebuke the devil in the name of Jesus when I felt his presence or he gave me a dream (they are not hard to spot) using the rebuking scriptures. Later I learned something better is to praise God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit and proclaim your love for them.

PRAY FOR THE DEVIL TO BE REMOVED FROM GOD’S PRECIOUS CHILDREN (we are all children even if we don’t think so) PLANNING SUICIDE EVERY DAY – PLEASE JOIN ME IN THIS EVERY DAY.  I use John 17:11 and 17:15 protect them by the power of your word , protect them from the evil one. 1 Jn 3:8  Jesus came to destroy the work of the devil and Mat. 28:18 all authority in heaven and earth has been given to Jesus.

ONE REASON I KNOW PRAYER WORKS: I had been praying for Jesus to save God’s innocent children from committing suicide every day for 3 weeks. I started getting the vulgar dreams I used to get at night during naps and that has not happened before. I was feeling the negative fear I used to feel. The fear is only a minute or so and one time it was near me but stopped in seconds. I think I said Holy Spirit remove the spirit of fear –the devil. If I am getting the attention of the devil again the prayers must be working.

During my praying time I started noticing something else; I was choking up about every day and I know is was not me but Jesus: 2 Corinthians 13:5 Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you—unless, of course, you fail the test? I also felt love come over me at times after praying and I cried knowing I was loved.

PRAYERS WORK: I have 5-6 prayers I say before I start praying and seldom say this one from St. Maximillian Kolbe  ……… ….but many times those hearts find sudden peace and rest. Someone had prayed and Faith, a reaching hand, Took hold of God and brought Him down that day! So many hearts have need of prayer. Oh let us pray.  When I said but many hearts have need of prayer I choked up and couldn’t continue for 2 minutes. After I finished praying almost 45 mins. later I forgot where it was I choked up and when I found it I choked up and cried again.

A couple weeks later I prayed at home for Louie to receive understanding the Holy Spirit is with him. Stopped to see him and asked if I could pray and told him he would feel now or laying in bed peace and love come over him from The Holy Spirit. His eyes widen and he said I felt it, I asked when he said a couple days ago.

A friend in his 60’s, a life long Catholic had severe depression (he didn’t say suicidal but his Dr. sent him to hospital the very day he told the Dr.. He does not have the negativity I mention but he can benefit from What You Can Do. However they gave him so many pills he could hardly function.

I have known of some Christians from the videos who have had to deal with what I’m writing about including Dan Mohler who 3 months after he became a Christian had a problem and “the praying medic” a former atheist now healing many people had a problem, a pastor I know wears a hat that says the devil runs from me and had heard a voice say you will not be healed, and 3 other pastors have mentioned this. We have authority by the name of Jesus to rebuke but Dan discovered the key is to praise Jesus by saying I love you Jesus thank you for loving me, thank you God I praise your Holy name. to be honest I have been so down this is hard to do but I have seen it work when getting out of bed and repeating Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.


1) TELL HOW TO  RECEIVE GOD’S LOVE.  I have experienced this so many times I believe He wants everyone to know about HIS LOVE and show how anyone can feel God’s Physical Love for them as told by Rev. Kenneth E. Hagin (deceased) who said this was his greatest breakthrough in connecting with God. I found it at age 73 after doing what he said.

2) TELL A STORY OF OVERCOMING OPPRESSION AND HOW YOU CAN TOO, by The Holy Spirit who God gave you Rom. 5:5.

3) RENEW YOUR BELIEF IN GOD/JESUS/THE HOLY SPIRIT through the videos of healing in the section Know the Holy Spirit.


If you don’t believe in God, Jesus, The Holy Spirit get over yourself. Don’t think as I did until I was 70 that if you can’t figure it out then God ,Jesus, the Holy Spirit must not be real especially if you can’t figure out a grade school magic trick or math problem!!! None of us are as smart as we think.

There are some excellent points in the book Adventures Beyond the Body by William Bulhman. Among many observations Mr. Buhlman says “ Our perception is based on a tiny fraction of what is around us, each of us is visually aware of only three-one-thousands (.00003) of energy radiation around us ….” In the Bible it says what is seen is temporary and what is unseen is eternal and things seen are made of things unseen (Heb. 11:3) I would guess it is referring to atoms. Mr. Buhlman says we who see so little of the universe are quick to reach conclusions and judgement based on a severely limited range of our physical senses”; such as if I can’t figure it out it must not be true; we are all spiritual beings.

At some point in life we all wonder about God. I think they wrote about me in the Bible; Even though I was once a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent man, I was shown mercy because I acted in ignorance and unbelief, 1 Timothy 1:13 and this describes what I have received: 1 timothy 1:14 The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus.

This is a story of a 70+ year old man realizing he didn’t know as much as he thought. Johnny Cash said it best “maybe I can show someone else what I’ve been through myself on my way back to you”  Why Me Lord. Someday I’ll be gone as we all will but this story and stories like it that provide your solution will always be here.


  • My testimony/experience of wondering what was going on in my life, doubting Jesus, not knowing The Holy Spirit, thinking God was someone I would see when I died. – (Home page), GOD IS NOT A MILLION MILES AWAY!
  • The reasons I believe this information will help you. -(below)
  • God waiting for me to ask plus The Holy Spirit giving me peace when I had no idea who was doing it. (below).
  • What JESUS has done for me (below)
  • God’s Unconditional Love for you is real (The Love of Christ), The hidden treasure. His Love is real, tangible, physical not just words or theory!!!
  • How you can love Jesus -lower part of The Love of Christ page.
  • Videos of healing in the name of Jesus and signs, wonders and miracles. Millions have been healed Worldwide. Reinhardt Bohnke went to Africa not knowing 1 person and led 76 million people to Jesus (Know The Holy Spirit -videos).
  • What You can do – some pretty easy ideas to get through or out of your situation based on my experience.
  • Beautiful songs and I know these songs please Jesus. Know The Holy Spirit.
  • Signs of God includes some pretty interesting stories including hearing God’s Voice one time, church story where God puts His words in a pastor’s mouth.
  • Reaching out = short notes of some things I have done that may encourage others, although only a few are noteworthy like Thomas saying he stopped drinking after reading my testimony and saving another man named Thomas from suicide.
  • Karen My Angel – story of our life and more for my reference WITH some true observations for those who have lost a loved one.  Her last year of Alzheimer’s she could not answer if she wanted water and out of the blue said I JUST LOVE PEOPLE. In our 49 years she never said a bad word about any one. She also said I know it 3 days before she died when I said I love you so much so if you have a loved one with Alzheimer’s they understand more than it seems so keep telling them. Some notable observations for those who have lost a loved one.

OUR PURPOSE: many books are written about this, seminars with instructions on how to do it and the answer is in the Bible Galatians 14 The entire Law is fulfilled in a single decree:“Love your neighbor as yourself.” 15 But if you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out, or you will be consumed by each other.…  For some of us including me this requires frequent awareness. Karen had to remind me to say thank you often which is automatic now. One of the “Men of God” (because they hear Him) said you can know the Bible backwards but if you don’t have love you may not get to where you want to go.

HOW TO FIND LOVE AND COMPASSION. Watching a tv program a woman asked Rev. Boyle how do you develop compassion. He said its kind of hard to explain that and told a long story. I HAVE SAID AT LEAST 100 TIMES Jesus I pray for your love and compassion to be in my heart , Jesus open the eyes of my heart so I can feel your love and compassion and later while praying for neglected, abandon, lonely people I have felt this compassion and cried many times (30-40). When He saw the crowds, He was moved with compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Mat. 9:36.

HIDDEN TREASURE ; If someone guaranteed you would find a treasure in a field you would keep looking until you found it. I GUARANTEE ANYONE WHO DOES THIS WILL FIND THE TREASURE OF GOD’S LOVE. There were several times I wondered if I would find it so don’t give up, it will come when you don’t expect it (see The Love of Christ).

I won’t be here forever but I hope the site remains active, if you are having thoughts of suicide go through the site and start asking Jesus for help. There are some good video’s in Know The Holy Spirit. If you are not in Santa Barbara text your name and we will pray and find a Pastor nearby who can do the work of God for you like you will see on the video’s. Find a pastor who God works through for healings. Jesus said He came to destroy the work of the devil 1Jn.3:8 and He did for me!

This isn’t one person’s story but God’s Story. Those broken, hurt, suffering are all God’s Story: If someone has a hundred sheep, and one of them goes astray, won’t he leave the ninety-nine on the hillside and go and search for the stray? Mat. 18:12.

I’m not special, you may not think you’re special but God thinks you are special and loves you more than you know. I didn’t discover HIS AMAZING LOVE until I was 70 and now cry when I realize how much I am loved. Howard Storm, a former atheist now a Minister cries when he talks about this love.

“I was found by those who did not seek me; I revealed myself to those who did not ask for me.” Rom. 10:20 and Is.65:1. I’m not a Jesus freak or Bible thump-er but HE found me ; can you believe the enormity of this scripture (for me and I’m sure many others) written in the time of Isaiah. As you read on you will see I didn’t know God was alive and looking for me and there for me and loved me for 15 years after he answered my prayer to stop drinking. I didn’t turn to Him but He kept giving me signs. DON’T BE LIKE ME this is your sign if you came to this site.

WHAT JESUS HAS DONE FOR ME: ( this isn’t to be boastful as what I have done is nothing but it was through Jesus that I did anything at all: stopped my drinking, took away my swearing, anger, temper, Impatience, stopped most of my judging of others and I say forgive me when I do judge, took away my cynical, sarcastic, bitter, self- righteous know it all attitude and outlook on people and circumstances, got me to praise Jesus in gratitude and thankfulness frequently, got me to say thank you I love you thank you for loving me daily, got me to reach out to try to help someone, ask strangers if I can pray for them (so far 10 or so have cried from the love Jesus gave them and some felt peace), pray for those who feel sad, lonely, neglected, abandoned, grieving and sent out 250 letters to church’s asking them to pray too, make snack bags and buy clothes for the homeless occasionally, send many emails out telling how to find God’s Love, pass out my testimony to anyone who knows someone with addiction problems, pass out papers Know the Holy Spirit, you are not the only one in a bad situation (to give to the homeless), share YOU CAN KNOW THE LOVE OF CHRIST and email it to 20-30 churches. Received several healings for myself from Jesus – see videos of healing in Know The Holy Spirit, got me to volunteer and realize I need to do more, go to church at 6:30 am, watch 600 hours and counting of videos of signs, wonders and miracles and TBN about every night.  I have good days, so-so days and some bad but the bad days don’t bother me as before and seldom last all day. I have times of joy sometimes when waking up and occasionally a couple of days in a row of singing-humming – the joy of the Lord is my strength Ne. 8:10.

SO WHAT’S IN THIS STORY FOR YOU:  more peace to start with = less stress. God’s Love if you will do what is suggested.  It took God a long time to reach me and He never gives up. This isn’t about look at the signs God gave me you are getting them too. This may help if you lost a loved one, have anger, addiction problems or need healing including depression. I have said Holy Spirit I pray for peace and God’s Unconditional love for myself and received it too many times to count, IF YOU GET NOTHING ELSE FROM THIS SITE UNDERSTAND THE HOLY SPIRIT IS REAL. He will literally take away depression, despondency, hopelessness, grief, etc.

I don’t take any prescription drugs. I used to jump out of bed to rebuke the devil many times. I haven’t had a problem for a long time and I now say thank you God, Jesus, Holy Spirit for loving me, saving me, forgiving me, healing me.  I know I have been forgiven of all the stupid things I have done. I was reminded of these 30 PLUS times a day to make me feel guilty and worthless which may be why some consider suicide and I now know where these thoughts come from and it isn’t God. You can be forgiven is you ask and stop doing whatever it is WE ALL KNOW THE WRONG THINGS WE ARE DOING although one is gossip that we all do and overlook it and it is something we should stop.

I learned how important it is to guard every thought and recognize the one’s that are not helpful like any thought prompting you to condemn or judge or be angry – perfect example is how revenge escalates and snowballs into hate. I have seen that happen to me to the point I wanted to harm someone so bad I would have been in jail for a long time. the same thing applies to dreams and recognize and forget any that make you feel bad -God doesn’t do that. However He does give some to correct you and there is a big difference.

Since all Christians understand God knows everything we do, as God is my witness nothing in these pages is made up or exaggerated.

  • THE REASON I BELIEVE READING THIS WILL HELP SOMEONE IS: (from the reaching out stories)
    • because I went to a men’s Christian group and Thomas who I had met one time said didn’t you give me some papers a few weeks ago “I STOPPED DRINKING AND FEEL GREAT” ( it was my testimony and TO KNOW THE HOLY SPIRIT) he had stopped for awhile and was an alcoholic longer than me, but fell off the wagon. I told him he looked great and I wasn’t just saying that, he was different.
    • I approached Jose a young man in early 20’s after a couple of comments about how are you doing he said I’ve been looking for God, I shared my story and all the signs I have had and he said he stopped drinking 4 days ago. I believe God led me to him to encourage him.
    • I went to the Y to work out, there, thought I would go take a nap (I had never done that before), while driving to the place I had in mind I went to a different place. Parked 50′ in back of a pick up and as reclining the guy in front fell out of his pick up. i went to help and he was so drunk i could hardly get him up. in a couple minutes two young men came along. He was so drunk he couldn’t tell us where he lived. Driving him to the place on his license he said he wanted to die 30-40 times. We had to call the police as he couldn’t be left alone. Had he stumbled back into his pick up before I saw him more than likely he would have killed himself or someone else driving. God knew there was a guy in his pick up truck wanting to kill himself.
    • Efren  – saw 2 men walking nearby somewhat drawn to them. I walked over and said Jesus loves you and Efren said thank you, thank you I need a prayer and put my hand on his shoulder and said do you know the love of The Holy Spirit and in less than a minute he felt something and took his sunglasses off and showed me he had tears.
    • Stuart, homeless for 24 years said the devil was in the can and he didn’t want to live, cried when I talked to him – I think because someone noticed him.
    • oppression – I prayed for homeless person being oppressed and it stopped. He Was yelling (loud)  get out of my f’ing life for 15 mins. And  I stood 20’ away and looked at him and repeated in the name of Jesus I command any demon, devil evil spirit, foul spirit of Satan out of him now and it stopped in 2 minutes and later he was helping put things away. It’s my belief that we have to ask Jesus to remove any oppressive spirit around us. There may be a reason we do not understand why He doesn’t do it without asking.
    • A veteran diagnosed with PTSD and was so bad his Dr. told him to go to the hospital right away. A week later I prayed (the prayer on Know The Holy Spirit) and he cried and sent a text the next day saying I saw Jesus and said fear left when you said Holy spirit take away the spirit of fear.
    • I lost my pass to a 3 day basketball tournament and was going to say I bet you don’t remember me from yesterday to the woman at the table. Before I said one thing she said the exact words I was going to say. I went back 10 minutes later to give her a couple papers mentioned above and telling her about how much God loves us her eyes started watering. Had she not said those words God put in her mouth I would not have gone back. Jeremiah 1:9 I have put my words in your mouth.
    • Dream – short version; I was given flowers and they were so beautiful I repeated I have to remember these flowers, then shown my laptop and I didn’t know what that meant. A friend said God is telling you your laptop is beautiful because you watch videos of signs of God (600 hrs.) and write papers to help others, i.e. my testimony, TO KNOW THE LOVE OF CHRIST, videos of healing, KNOW THE HOLY SPIRIT, healing videos.
    • Three said this is why I came here (where I was), one said this is why God held me over (to hear about videos of healing). He was hitch hiking from Ca. to W.V.
    • A woman said I think about my mother ever day for over 10 years and had wondered what happens when we die and was thankful for my paper on Life going on.
    • I was healed of several health issues such as arthritis in a hip so bad I thought I would need a replacement, a back problem where I couldn’t stand up, a bad cough was stopped at 10:30 pm and I didn’t cough one more time all night.
    • GOD IS AWARE OF THIS WEBSITE AND YOU, just like when He answered my request to stop drinking and gave me incredible peace when my wife was dying and gave me so many signs and gave me His Love that surpasses knowledge, healed my health issues (mentioned in Holy Spirit -healing videos). He isn’t camped out here but He knows you are reading this. It’s not about me, it is all of us. 1 Tim 2:4 who wants all people to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth. 5For there is one God and one mediator between God and mankind, the man Christ Jesus. He told us never will I leave you never will I forsake you, Heb, 13:5


    •  This is a shortened version of all that could be mentioned but we believe what is have written below will help some. My experience with suicide took much longer than it should have (years) because I did not understand God was there and trying to help  me and gave me many signs and some pretty profound. I didn’t really ignore them I just didn’t realize I should pursue God  because He loves us. He does not condemn us as some might think. He has said for my sake I will remember your sins no more. Is. 43:25, Heb. 8:12 and others. Although I’m not the judge but I would guess you have to stop anything like lying, cheating, stealing, judging, hating, adultery and everything else you know is wrong. Some facts:
      • I was an alcoholic 35 years and drunk 3-5 times a week and a hangover many other days. I had to call my wife to drive 150 miles to bail me out of jail when I got a DUI, I was in jail for a couple of days just out of high school and it involved drinking.
      • I was modestly successful, top salesman with a company for 8 years, owned a business 22 years, beautiful wife, nice home with a pool, exercise room, several collector cars, a small plane at one time, most of 2 months off a year, traveled a lot in the U.S., now I have none of that.
      • I was sarcastic, cynical, rude, bitter, moody (because of a hangover) ONE TIME I EVEN SAID TO SOMEONE I DON’T KNOW WHERE ALL THESE MEAN THOUGHTS COME FROM. It was like once I had a thought of hate or being mad would snowball out of control. I even knew I over reacted to something that wasn’t that big of a deal when I slammed doors, swore when I dropped a pen. ONE MESSAGE HERE WHICH IS HARD TO GRASP IS DO NOT BE OFFENDED BY ANYTHING ANYONE SAYS – maybe they dislike you and maybe you can’t change it or maybe they are having a bad day but don’t let someone’s feelings affect you. I used to swear at the news, politicians, stock market, people I was calling on as a salesman (occasionally) swore and hung up) when things didn’t go my way . As you can guess it didn’t change anything. I have knocked over coffee 5 times on my carpet now and not only did I not say anything it did not cause any thoughts about it. In 2018 I have been saying I love you and I am feeling love for others.
      • Even when things were going well something was peculiar. I would go to bed looking forward to the next day and get up feeling crappy, I didn’t feel worthy, felt guilty. I felt depressed. I should have felt proud as I had gone through college working 25-40 hours a week for 6 years, top salesman with a company. This is mentioned in dreams in What You Can Do.
      • I was reminded daily 30-40 times of something I did I regretted or felt guilty about NOTE: THE HOLY SPIRIT OR GOD DOES NOT DO THAT. Someone studying to be a Minister told of constantly being reminded of being unworthy for hitting a girl in the stomach with a bat as a child. He finally realized what was going on and is a Minister.
      • not necessary to mention all the details but I wanted to harm myself and die a gruesome death although one plan was to slip on oil working on a car in the garage.


    • I lost Karen in 2011 but had many signs from God before I believed, before I was saved, before I accepted Jesus which was 15 years after He answered my request (it wasn’t even a prayer), before I believed God was with us, before I read the Bible.
    • one time I woke Karen from a nap 3 years after she was diagnosed and she said she had a dream and Jesus told her God would always be with her. I had already had a dream message ALWAYS BELIEVE IN GOD. God said never will I leave you, never will I forsake you Heb. 13.5

I was baptized in 2014 – 15 years after God answered my prayer to stop drinking and I praise Jesus several times a day, read the Bible and find many meaningful scriptures, I pray often for those who feel sad, lonely, neglected, abandoned, lonely, forgotten. I watch 2 hours of Christian TV and you tube videos of signs, wonders and miracles almost daily.