First understand you are not the only one going through this and understand there is a way out. It took me a long time to find my way. Everything you read here is true and I am not special and it took me until I was 70 years old to BELIEVE I AM LOVED, and it was 15 years after God answered my prayer to stop drinking.
I described some of what I went through here and on the home page but you can take a different and easier path through reading and believing YOU CAN KNOW THE LOVE OF CHRIST WHICH SURPASSES KNOWLEDGE and you will experience God’s Love for you (see-The Love of Christ).
DO NOT STOP SEEING YOUR DOCTOR OR STOP ANY MEDICATION.
In a nutshell: this advice will seem pretty hard in your situation but if you start doing a little it will grow. The point is to get your mind off of what you are thinking about and to do something and believe every little bit helps. Somewhere I described how I felt and my condition lasted a lot longer than it should and it was pretty intense for 18 months and it was hard to laugh but I did something each day. I would guess I was as depressed as anyone could get since I had planned suicide 3 times. My recommendations are going to sound a little preachy but I feel like the minister I heard on radio who was touched by God in jail and went around waking cellmates up saying get your ass out of bed we’re going to have church. The information here is to help you realize how much you are loved.
As mentioned on About me page; I have said I had to deal with the devil more than a person should. To give you an idea of what I went through: at my most successful time I would lay in bed thinking about cutting my head off with a machete and it was often. I know where the thoughts of hate, guilt, feeling unworthy came from now so if you have hate understand I overcame it through God and you will to. Maybe it will be a little bit at a time – a few hours of peace then a day.
The point of this is to let you know you are not alone in what you are feeling. At one point I felt drunk and paranoid at the same time and it lasted over a year and I even had to think before getting out of a chair to put my foot down then put my hand on the armrest to get up as I was unable to just stand up. I was so depressed I couldn’t think straight but I went out to get coffee, went to a coffee shop and forced myself to say something.
If I were telling someone how to find God: I THINK THE MOST IMPORTANT THING ANYONE CAN DO IS PURSUE GOD’S LOVE and you can do it from what is on this website when you find out how much God loves you. 1) read about or watch videos of Emanuel Swedenborg who visited heaven and hell for 30 years, brought back messages from a loved one who had died that no one else could know, he said every word in the bible has a spiritual meaning, he primarily talked about God’s Amazing Love for us. 2) watch videos of healings in the name of Jesus to see how many people are healed. 3) I have heard God’s Voice one time and many people hear God often today 4) understand you are a spirit and will go somewhere when you die refer to videos of Ian Clayton, Marilyn Hughes, William Buhlman; I have seen my spiritual arm one time. 5) if you still don’t believe watch videos talking about the devil although I wouldn’t advise it at this point.
I do not believe every scripture in the Bible but I have found many that are relevant. One is Jesus said even though you do not believe in me believe in the miraculous works, John 10:38.
- VIDEOS OF HEALING I have watched 600 hours and counting of signs, wonders and miracles of God working through people. I have cried watching what God does as has a friend. Just look of videos of healing in the name of Jesus on you tube.
- SAY COME HOLY SPIRIT every day and when you lay in bed and don’t feel right (depressed, etc.) say I need your peace and wait for peace to come either right away or sometime later you will have forgotten your concerns for awhile. Pray for peace in your life and God’s Unconditional Love. You’re body is the temple for the Holy Spirit 1Cor.6:19. I had no clue what this meant until I realized it was the Holy Spirit giving me peace at night laying next to my wife who had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and felt incredible peace come each night as He came to comfort me. I’m sure I mentioned this 2-3 times but I even said who are you both in my mind. Jesus said He will send a comforter for us Jn. 14:16. Your issues you are dealing with will come back but so will The Holy Spirit. I have felt fear leave me in seconds as in removed without me even saying anything and it has happened many times.
- Know and understand God loves you and seek help from Jesus by believing and reading The New Testament and Proverbs – I ignored it until I was 70. You may not understand it and I still don’t some but I have felt the incredible love many, many times, if you are reading God knows you are reaching out to Him. Have faith in Jesus first and understand He is there for you; this is something I didn’t grasp or believe. This isn’t about hell and damnation, this is about you realizing how much you are loved by God and I have felt this physical love so many times and He wants you to feel it too – TO KNOW THE LOVE OF CHRIST. We are all the same to God, we are like children to him (He may think some are foolish, some whine, some misbehave). There are men on death row who love God and He loves them. I heard a story of a man on death row gave a Bible to a 20 year old kid in prison who couldn’t read, the man said that’s okay He’ll teach you. The man knew God would and He did. I know who this “kid” is and now 50 and married an administrator at a small college and is a prisoner’s advocate. Several scriptures say we are children of God. He wants us all to be saved but we need to make the effort and change if we are off track.
- You can talk yourself out of depression: One time I was so frustrated, dejected, disappointed I had talked myself into depression. It started around 5 pm and became so bad when I read a story of someone who lost their wife 2 years ago say he still feels the love and feels married as I have felt I said I don’t remember how to love. I went to bed at 9pm, and was thinking of skipping an event for a grandchild the next day. Waking up depressed I started repeating: I am a child of God, I am loved, I cannot be separated from God’s Love, I have direct access to God, my body is a temple for the Holy Spirit, Christ in me the hope and glory, and a few other scriptures and saying Holy Spirit I need your peace, the joy in the Lord is my strength because my joy comes from God. These are scriptures and I went on for 45 minutes to 1 hour. Actually I didn’t talk myself out of it but The Holy Spirit came and it took awhile and I got up feeling fine. Another example of watching your words/thoughts as I completely talked myself into this situation by my thoughts. IF YOU DO NOT YET BELIEVE; THE HOLY SPIRIT DOES AND IT IS WORTH TRYING THIS. GOD DOES NOT JUDGE IF YOU ARE READY BUT IF YOU CALL OUT TO HIM IN YOUR MIND HE WILL COME. You recall God answered my prayer to stop drinking in 1999 and in 2002 I felt peace and love come over me and that was many years before I believed. YOU CAN LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND SAY GOD HELP ME, JESUS REMOVE THIS DEPRESSION, HOLY SPIRIT I NEED YOUR PEACE, COMFORT AND LOVE.
- Dole out loving kindness daily, just smile and say hi if nothing else.
- Be around people – go to a bowling alley, church, park, coffee shop and start up a small conversation but not about what you are going through. You might ask how things are going in your life after you talk awhile.
- Help the unfortunate – it helps you feel good about yourself. There are close to 300 scriptures about doing this. Find a place to volunteer, you will be appreciated and will find a couple of friends and that is helpful.
- Watch your words; Pro. 2-3 From the fruit of a man’s mouth he enjoys good, But the desire of the treacherous is violence. 3 the one who guards his mouth preserves his life, the one who opens wide his lips comes to ruin. This goes for all of us not just those going through a hard time. In my opinion it is important not to talk to much about your situation other than to those trying to help. I kept talking about how tired I was and remained that way. I kept swearing in anger and it felt excessive and many times I thought I over reacted to a situation. If the spirit world is real and I believe it is you get more negative things happen when you talk about it. Albert Einstein said thank you often daily although it didn’t say who he was talking to. I can guarantee God hears us as stated several times on this site. Start saying thank you God, thank you Jesus, thank you Holy Spirit for loving me, saving me, healing me, forgiving me. Find a song or anything to say to yourself to stop from blurting out something in anger or that may be hurtful to someone. The more you practice the more natural it becomes. Emanuel Swedenborg said Angels and demons exist in their own realms and in our minds. Look him up in Wikipedia. He visited Heaven and hell for 30 years and wrote volumes about the love of God, there are some you tube videos about him. Say hallelujah often, it is a praise to God.
- LOVE GOD; Understand you are loved more than you can comprehend – read comments about this love in The Love of Christ. Rom. 8:35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? When you really find out how much you are loved and what God does you will love Him because you want to.
- Find things that make you laugh or at least chuckle.a little each day, videos of puppies and kittens, Raymond, WC Fields movies, All in the Family reruns or other sit-coms you enjoyed.
- If you have a hobby spend more time at it and if not try to find something.
- Play peaceful music like Gregorian Chanting, play joyful music like Holy Spirit You Are Welcome here, Set a Fire in my Soul.
- Porn. This should go without saying but do not watch any porn. I can guarantee the inclination to look at something is from the devil. I have had too many dreams of something so vulgar I couldn’t tell anyone from my prior interest and now I find it disgusting and I know without doubt it is from the devil. I used to read Huffington Post until I realized they were postings articles to get people to click on something that in some cases was obscene.
- Watch your finances and get a second opinion on everything. you will not make rational decisions during this time of depression. I made many bad stock choices, bought a car I didn’t like and after 6 months sold it and lost $3,000. A friend in depression now had a fence put up and has to move it 3 feet back at a cost of over $10,000.
- Don’t read the news.
- Stop thinking IT’S YOUR THOUGHTS this cannot be overstated. There are many books and sermons confirming this.i.e. watch your thoughts and stop the ones that are not helpful. This is a constant effort as our minds wander all the time, recognize the thoughts not helpful and let them go. I know easier said than done but if you have what I had thoughts of guilt, anger, hate are not from God. I have seen this happen to me many, many times before I heard Joyce Meyer, a minister said the enemy tries to give you defeating thoughts when you wake up. She also talked about recent problems she is having with the enemy.
I have recognized times I am thinking about some useless topic and also times I have been given thoughts that are not mine such as thinking about something to make me feel guilty and I say it doesn’t matter I have been forgiven. I seldom get them now and if so only for a second. Replace them with saying something in your mind like I love you Jesus, thank you for loving me, saving me, healing, me, forgiving me, blessing me with all good things (say it and expect it to come), find scriptures to repeat in your mind.
STOP JUDGING ANYONE FOR ANYTHING – it’s not your job and won’t change anything, see James 4;12-13 (there is only one lawgiver and judge…….). Understand where your thoughts of guilt, anger, hate and everything negative comes from,; everything not connected with love, peace, joy, patience, kindness. I have heard the voice of the devil, seen it’s image, been attacked, received it’s thought’s, been held down, planned suicide, received the most vulgar dreams imaginable, it is the most ominous emotion there is. It took me a couple of years to realize I’m ok because Padre Pio had to deal with the devil all his life, Mother Teresa wrote she thought God had abandoned her, 4 Pastors and my dentist have experienced it. RW Shambach an amazing man of God was singing in his car and heard a voice saying you’re having a heart attach, he stopped his car and started running and saying devil you’re a liar, so I’m in good company. In the videos I’ve watched two pastors said the devil gives you thoughts and I had seen this happen to me every day for years. It is not hard to watch and know those thoughts are not me.
- Do not show any anger My friend Antonio mentioned in the Signs of God told me this when we played handball and I used the F word in anger, hit the wall when I missed a shot. He gave me some invaluable information but i didn’t understand at that time that your anger attracts something I believe is the devil to get you to be mad, angry. If you notice once it starts it snowballs. If you’re anger is more than it should be over small things and if it continues longer than it should and if you’re thoughts are meaner than they should be then something abnormal is going on – that was how I was. You can see it in road rage situations. If you think about how you dislike someone longer than you should there is a problem.
A book could be written about his life and he knows about the enemy and has had more bad luck than anyone and is blessed and would do anything for anyone. He sued the State of California Highway Patrol won 3 million and gave his daughters what his attorney didn’t take. His daughters had abandoned him already. Like my friend I have had more than my share of the devil including hearing his voice and feeling the negativity for over a year and realizing the source of my anger, bitterness, judging, addiction, thoughts of suicide. A young friend who was into drugs, alcohol and had anger issues said you know what pornography is more addictive and you can believe it is from the devil.
I don’t want to give it too much print here but it is real and Jesus said He came to destroy the work of the devil 1 john 3:8. I said F Y devil one time a few days before Karen died (after blaming God for 10 years), however that didn’t go well and some time later (months) I had to deal with it for probably 18 months. I don’t know if the two were connected but seemed like it to me. It was like I was drunk and paranoid at the same time. Bob Jones, mentioned in Signs of God as a man of God said 3 years after he stopped drinking he was high up in a tree and felt he was drunk and fell out and was in a hospital for weeks and heard the voice of the devil.
It took me 30 plus years to figure this out and I didn’t know the devil existed until I heard a mean voice say I do not want to pray while I was praying in my mind for Karen only two months after she was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s That was the first time I realized the devil was not only real but knew me. I may have mentioned elsewhere but I wondered about that years earlier from all my actions, cynical/sarcastic comments, attitude. Again they were not constant but enough to make me wonder if something was going on.
I believe I have understood what to do thanks to Dan Mohler (watch his videos talking about the love God has for us and praising God). I went from doubting to praising to feeling His Love for me to feeling my love for Jesus. It took me a long time so I hope anyone reading this will realize God Loves us.
I was led to a book Believers Authority by Rev. Kenneth Hagin which let me realize we have authority over the devil using the name of Jesus (there is power in the name of Jesus) : From this I have jumped out of bed 30 plus times to rebuke the devil in the name of Jesus after sensing something negative, I have been held down 20 times, given vulgar dreams but I later found out from Dan Mohler all you have to do is praise Jesus, God, The Holy Spirit and repeat thank you Jesus, I love you Jesus, thank you for loving me, I praise your Holy name.Dan Mohler – How to Be Transformed into the Image of Christ & Receive Grace Talks about hearing satan and foul things he had never thought 3 months after he was saved at 8:40 mins. “How to confess the Word Dan Mohler.” He also said a dozen people told me they had the same experience. This happened to me starting in mid 80’s and I said I don’t know where these thoughts come from. He also says satan is swearing at the Holy Spirit.
WHAT ABOUT JESUS: have faith in Jesus first as you turn to Jesus He will increase your belief. Jn 14:1 says let not your heart be troubled you believe in God, believe also in me. Mark 9:23-25 New King James Version (NKJV). 23 Jesus said to him, “If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.” 24 Immediately the father of the child cried out and said with tears, “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!” Make Jesus your only friend to help you get through.
JESUS DOES NOT WANT ANYONE TO SUFFER! God’s plans are for a hope and a future see Jer 29:11. I don’t know why there is so much suffering but even wealthy people have trials and troubles, some are lonely. Someone mentioned there are close to 300 scriptures about helping the poor, oppressed, widows and orphans in distress. You are not forgotten by God. He knows you. He may not give you a new car or house but He can give you something important and that is peace in your life. I still have good days and bad days but the bad days or something that didn’t work out doesn’t bother me and I don’t swear if I drop something.
http://www.operationrestoredwarrior.org This is an organization that helps veterans who are suicidal they say 100% see Jesus in their mind while praying for them. I have seen Jesus meditating. Mentioned elsewhere but I prayed for someone with PTSD and he called the next day to say when you prayed I saw Jesus. He was crying while I prayed.
This was sometime in 2005 before accepting Jesus in 2014. Woke up one time singing if I could walk with Jesus just one time, he would show me how to be, He would show me all the things that I should see, He would tell me of the truths I should know, He would tell me how to be free from this world of misery, this rhymed in my sleep although not so much when I woke up. This was after hearing DO YOU LOVE ME and feeling love come over me when I was grieving over losing Karen. If you think about that it is interesting. I suppose I was looking for help but I thought if Jesus existed that He would be in heaven so I don’t know that I thought He would do something.
There is Power in the name of Jesus. Look up you tube videos with this title. When you become aware of a feeling you can rebuke it. A nap around 12 woke up very sad and rebuked spirit of sadness, grief, my emotion was changed in minutes. eight hours later I am amazed at how that grief came in after all this time. YOU CAN REBUKE A SPIRIT OF SADNESS, LONELINESS, GRIEF, ANGER, DEPRESSION, ECT., IN THE NAME OF JESUS. YOU CAN ALSO REBUKE A SPIRIT OF DOUBT AND UNBELIEF AS I DID WITH A FRIEND WHO SWORE WHEN I BROUGHT UP GOD. However I learned from Dan Mohler to thank and praise God, Jesus, The Holy Spirit for their love and express your love to them. ( mentioned elsewhere but I think both work.)
In the videos (see Know The Holy Spirit) I have watched more than one pastor said The devil leaves when you praise Jesus.
Embrace the Holy Spirit , Read the bible ½ hour at night to let God know you want to find Him. A book by a former Catholic Priest, Dr. Ron Roth in the Spiritual Path of Prayer told a friend he was depressed and the friend said say COME HOLY SPIRIT. i have done this countless of times and it works. it may not be that minute but in an hour or two you will have forgotten your most troubling problem for awhile. One time snot was coming out my nose from crying and it was over in a minute. Another time I was crying and went to sleep and had a dream of laughing with my wife.
Stop doing what you know you shouldn’t do like anger, bitterness, resentment, saying anything hateful about anyone – even politicians because it attracts the enemy. Don’t engage in conversations that involve hating or judging or arguing – what good does it do chances are nobody cares what you (and me) think about the topic anyway. Just excuse yourself from the situation. I have a father -in law who argues his view about everything and tries to correct everything. Maybe it’s me but it seems so pointless.
Be aware that some dreams make you feel bad or guilty, learn to ignore the bad ones. I recall 30 years ago going to bed looking forward to the next day and waking up feeling bad and wondering what caused that change to happen. I woke up many times feeling depressed and knew it was from a dream. Some have made me depressed all day. After Karen died I had a few dreams where she died again and I was sad for 2 days at a time. That doesn’t seem possible but it is. Watching TBN a Pastor said he had a dream and the first thing his wife said was it good or bad – you would expect her first comment to be oh what about. There are so many books written about dreams and maybe some one can interpret them but just understand that if it isn’t good it isn’t from God. IF YOU GET BAD DREAMS AND YOU HAVE ACCEPTED JESUS INTO YOUR LIFE AND THANK HIM EVERY DAY TO LET HIM KNOW THEN SAY JESUS WATCH OVER THIS BODY WHICH IS A TEMPLE FOR THE HOLY SPIRIT WHILE I REST.
when you get up find a phrase you like to say to praise such as Holy Spirit you are welcome here or Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, savior, savior, savior, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus healer, healer, healer, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus thank you thank you thank you. If you don’t feel normal play spiritual uplifting music . I have laid in bed when I didn’t feel right and repeated some of these things or scriptures and felt my emotion change in minutes just like the 4-5 times I laid in bed trying to wake up and complaining to God about my circumstances and realized they were gone. This is like when you say COME HOLY SPIRIT and either in a minute or an hour later you forgot your problems.
Jesus gave us a scripture for this: But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own Mat. 6:33.
Don’t feel guilty about anything. If you have hurt someone ask for forgiveness and forgive your self. You are forgiven if you ask and stop doing whatever it was. Know this: you do not need to feel guilty about anything if you ask for forgiveness and stop. It is the devil giving you thoughts about what a bad person you are. I used to be reminded 20-30 or more times a day of something I regretted. Today I seldom get these and if I do they don’t bother me and they are gone in 2 seconds. I now know it doesn’t matter. You can find plenty of evidence about the devil giving thoughts and I have seen this a thousands of times in me.
Watch for signs from God and write them down even the small ones that you think are coincidences and they will grow. I have many of these and probably have missed dozens. See Signs of God.
Scriptures tell us: Jesus came to seek and save the lost, teach us to love each other, teach us not to judge each other, forgive our sins so we do not feel guilty, give us salvation, heal the sick, tell us our comforter is with us (Holy Spirit), tell us the Kingdom of heaven is near -destroy the work of the devil; we cannot be separated from God’s Love, we are free from condemnation (which is the guilt the devil is giving us) Lu.19:10, Gal. 5:14, Jms 4:12, Lu.5:24, Heb.7:25, Jn.14:12/lu.10:9, Eph.1:13, Phil.4:4, 1 Jn. 3:8; Rom 8:35, Rom 8:1 nearly 300 scriptures tell us to help the poor and oppressed.
A few scriptures of god being with us :1 John 4:4 You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world. Galatians 4:6 Because you are his sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, “Abba, Father.” James 4:5 Or do you think Scripture says without reason that he jealously longs for the spirit he has caused to dwell in us? Psalms 116:1 I love the LORD, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live. Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Romans 8:11 If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus[a] from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you.
God loves us more than we know if you want to feel God’s Love for us read this on your knees many times over 3-4 weeks Ephesians 1:16-20, 2:4-6, 3:14-19. I have felt this love many times and it is like no other love you have felt, it is a real physical emotion not just meaningless words. I and many others have felt it and you will cry when you feel this love.
GOD IS NOT A MILLION MILES AWAY– it took me forever to fully realize this, look up scriptures about the Kingdom of heaven is near. –Lu.17:21, Phil 4:4-5, Mat. 10:7. We are told the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand: nor will people say, ‘Here it is,’ or ‘There it is,’ because the kingdom of God is in your midst.” Lu. 17:21 and others, He will command His Angels concerning you Psm. 91:11, let your gentleness be evident to all for God is near Phil. 4:5. most of us never understand this and I didn’t until I was over 70. GOD IS REAL, SAY JESUS HELP ME or COME HOLY SPIRIT when you need help. Keep in mind it may be a daily battle for awhile as you get thoughts “you are wasting your time” – (that came to me). You are not invisible, the most important person you will ever know sees you, hears you and loves you more than you will know.
If you would like to accept Jesus say this: Lord Jesus I pray you will come into my heart and be my Lord and Savior and I repent for all of my transgressions. I know that I am a sinner and I ask that you forgive me. You will be my Lord and Savior and I will trust you to save me. Thank you Lord Jesus – I PROMISE HE WILL HEAR YOU.
By accepting Jesus you will find more peace in your life. The daily things that caused you to be angry, impatient, mad, bitter, judge others will no longer annoy you and you will not be constantly reminded of something you regret. Just know that God is love and God forgives and does not make you feel guilty; He said even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more.” Isa. 43:25
I was modestly successful, had a beautiful wife, small business 22 years, several collector cars, small plane at one time, nice home with a pool and sauna and exercise room, most of 2 months off a year, now that’s all gone except Jesus and my wife who I know is one of the angels with me- He will command His Angels concerning you Psm. 91:11. Ray Charles said ain’t nothing free in this world except Jesus.
Say the Lord’s Prayer every day, watch your thought’s and word’s, dole out loving kindness daily, say come Holy Spirit when you need help for anger, grief, depression etc. and BELIEVE. If you would like to discuss how Jesus might help you please call. Ron 805-895-5710, God Redeemed My Life From The Pit so I have experienced what I say here. I swear before God, Jesus, The Holy Spirit, Karen, the Angels with her this is all true; a little dramatic but it is a serious topic. DON’T WASTE YOUR LIFE ANYMORE and I didn’t do anything here God did. This is God’s Story not mine.
Believe (this was written in 2008 seven years before accepting Jesus.) Believe if you’ll only believe. It’s the way to change your world. Believe if you believe. You can change all obstacles that are at hand. Believe if you’ll believe it’s the start of your grand plan. If you can understand; belief is in your hands. Believe in Jesus if you can. It’s the key to turn about. Believe if you’ll believe. It’s the way to stop all doubt. Jesus can change what is at hand if you only believe HE can. Belief is the secret way to do all that you can. Belief is the key that is so grand. if you only believe you can you can change everything at hand. Belief is the secret that was in Jesus’ plan. For He told everyone they can, if they only believe they can. Look around at what’s been done by the people who believe they can. In the realms of your desires lay happiness you can acquire; It can all be done with the knowledge that you can. Where would we all be if God made a glorious plan and then threw up his hands and; said I don’t believe I can.